30 Days of Gratitude

I started daily gratitude posting 30 days ago when I was in the midst of a pretty low place with my mental health, and chose to do it to remind myself to look for the good in every day.

I'm writing this now from a good place, and I'm writing it because it's so important for me to reflect back so next time I can reread this to remind myself that it will always pass.

Anxiety and depression are something I've been carrying with me since I was little, but have only recently begun directly addressing. This year my bought of it was tough, but also one that showed me how far I've come. When I went through weeks where I felt like I was going back and forth between feeling like I was going to die, and wanting to die, I made sure I had a couple close friends I was checking in with regularly who would remind me to take it easy and that I'm loved.

Anxiety and depression are such dark demons that can creep up with little warning, and are suddenly ripping everything up from the inside out. It can look like sadness or indifference, but feels like a physical/emotional/spiritual pain so deep that it couldn't ever possibly heal.

But then I've learned to reach out to that support network, I've learned that the voices in my head are lying, and I've learned to not be quite so hard on myself. Then one day I find myself smiling at nothing walking down the street, and having dance parties in my kitchen again, and I remember that the dark always passes and that nothing is permanent.