More Hope | Fewer Question Marks

I’ve told myself a hundred times over to wait on writing this until the heightened emotion fades, the shock wears off, and the anger lands itself in the right place. But there are times for rants and letting emotion out, and I think this might be it.

If you’ve been following my health journey, you’ll know it has been rocky, if you haven’t you can take a little trip over to my blog to read a little bit more about it. But this has been a 13 year journey so far with the the ‘ups’ being appointments where I’m told I have Crohns, or where I figure out another food trigger that flares up symptoms I had previously been so used to that they were just day to day life, like the pains in my shins and ankles. The low points have been other doctors disagreeing with a former diagnosis, struggling to get out of bed for months, and being told that it’s all in my head.

I found my way to a place in life where I had mostly accepted that this was just how life would be, but still holding onto this tiny little gut feeling that there was something actually wrong going on in my body. That it wasn’t chronic fatigue or central sensitivity syndrome, but that I was waking up every morning feeling like my body was fighting. Some days it is hard to breathe, other days it’s the pain, swelling and bleeding in my gut, or the shooting pain in my legs, but every day just felt like something was off and there was a piece missing.

So I dug my heels in and went outside our Canadian healthcare and sent my blood work down to the states. They came back this afternoon… Positive for four major co-infections and a big fat positive for Lyme disease.

I’m not mad that it wasn’t caught by doctors, but 13 years of being dismissed oes a whole lot to a person. I feel excited at the thought of treatment, I feel excited knowing that one day I might wake up not feeling ill, but mostly I just feel really excited at the thought of undoing over a decade of ‘it’s all in my head’ stories that I built up around me.

I start treatment tonight and I'm nowhere near ready to start thinking about tomorrow. #onedayatatime